A child with special needs often attracts attention from the public. We always notice a side look, a stare of humiliation or whispers when they think we're not looking. I sometimes pick up a fight especially when we're in a public transportation. My husband said, "let's try to get use to it. Ganun talaga." But no, I don't think I would ever get used to it.
Sometimes it gives me a lot of stress because it affects my mood. I get easily annoyed when their glance become a stare that lasted for more than 5 seconds. What more if I caught them talking inside their hands while looking at my son. I don't like to think what I'll probably do.
Joaqui looks like just a normal kid at first glance. His invisible disability gets noticed when he started to speak. He is speech delayed. He is already eleven years old but he talks like a four-year old boy. He sometimes get cranky when it's hot in the jeepney or when it's cramped. He will shout "Ouch! Wala ng upuan!" Then he starts to draw attention. Some people shrug it off, while others will look at him puzzled. Some people will stare, sometimes in disgust. That's the time when a mother's heart is triggered, almost like a bomb is about to explode when you see a silent judgment in a form of scrutiny. Most of the time, I can't help but speak with an evident anger tone in my voice.
A friend told me, "we cannot change the world, but we can change ourselves." She has special needs twins older than my son. What I'm dealing with is just half of what she has dealt. I admire her a lot. She's an epitome of a strong special needs mom considering that she has two. She inspires me a lot, letting me think that I can also do whatever she has done because I only have one, and she has a twin.
To this day, everyday is a battle. A battle that I believe winning is just a bonus. It's more of living each day one at a time. Feeling like a battle field, against the cruelty of the world, protecting the innocence of my son, fighting for his rights to inclusion, battle against discrimination while ensuring his happiness and safety. It is a tough battle. A battle that leaves scars in the hearts of the Lord's bravest soldiers. ❤
Sometimes it gives me a lot of stress because it affects my mood. I get easily annoyed when their glance become a stare that lasted for more than 5 seconds. What more if I caught them talking inside their hands while looking at my son. I don't like to think what I'll probably do.
Joaqui looks like just a normal kid at first glance. His invisible disability gets noticed when he started to speak. He is speech delayed. He is already eleven years old but he talks like a four-year old boy. He sometimes get cranky when it's hot in the jeepney or when it's cramped. He will shout "Ouch! Wala ng upuan!" Then he starts to draw attention. Some people shrug it off, while others will look at him puzzled. Some people will stare, sometimes in disgust. That's the time when a mother's heart is triggered, almost like a bomb is about to explode when you see a silent judgment in a form of scrutiny. Most of the time, I can't help but speak with an evident anger tone in my voice.
A friend told me, "we cannot change the world, but we can change ourselves." She has special needs twins older than my son. What I'm dealing with is just half of what she has dealt. I admire her a lot. She's an epitome of a strong special needs mom considering that she has two. She inspires me a lot, letting me think that I can also do whatever she has done because I only have one, and she has a twin.
To this day, everyday is a battle. A battle that I believe winning is just a bonus. It's more of living each day one at a time. Feeling like a battle field, against the cruelty of the world, protecting the innocence of my son, fighting for his rights to inclusion, battle against discrimination while ensuring his happiness and safety. It is a tough battle. A battle that leaves scars in the hearts of the Lord's bravest soldiers. ❤
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