There were good days and bad days. Times of celebration and frustration. Tears of joy and tears of sorrow. My life as a special needs mom is like a roller coster ride, exciting yet fulfilling, over flowing with emotions. Sometimes I feel like I'm hiking the most difficult terrain, not like most of the normal moms usually do. Looking around, I've got a lot of why's and how's, puzzled by who to blame or will I ever have to blame somebody for feeling like this? There were nights that I feel angry and disappointed at myself, mad at myself for being mad, frustrated at myself for being frustrated. There were nights when I don't know what to feel anymore, half numb and half oppressed by reality. There were moments when I feel like I am not enough, that what I do are still not enough, that whatever I do will never be enough. In times like this, I know, I'm certain, that I need to help myself. There will never be anyone who can make me feel good about myself but just
...thoughts of a Special Needs Mom. ❤️