Love Without Conditions, No Matter Where Life Takes You.

There were good days and bad days. Times of celebration and frustration. Tears of joy and tears of sorrow. My life as a special needs mom is like a roller coster ride, exciting yet fulfilling, over flowing with emotions. Sometimes I feel like I'm hiking the most difficult terrain, not like most of the normal moms usually do. Looking around, I've got a lot of why's and how's, puzzled by who to blame or will I ever have to blame somebody for feeling like this? There were nights that I feel angry and disappointed at myself, mad at myself for being mad, frustrated at myself for being frustrated. There were nights when I don't know what to feel anymore, half numb and half oppressed by reality. There were moments when I feel like I am not enough, that what I do are still not enough, that whatever I do will never be enough. In times like this, I know, I'm certain, that I need to help myself. There will never be anyone who can make me feel good about myself but just me. I'll try my best to assert things, to have a clear vision in a parallel dimension. To convince myself that I'm doing great, that what I do is absolutely right. I know I just need to breathe and deal with things minute after minute, hour after hour, day by day. I'm not going to lie. It is not easy. It takes a brave heart, a clear mind, and a strong faith to be able to live in a way like everybody does. To live an almost normal life beyond imperfections and think that it could have been worse, but it's not.

Again, I'm making a promise to myself that I'll keep on holding on, I'll keep clinging to my faith, and I'll keep going, all out of love, without conditions. ❤

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