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Looking Back

A couple of months ago, I remember how people talked behind my back just because I wasn't able to give something in monetary during my beloved Lola's special day as planned. What they do not know is we were down-and-out during those days, had an instant noodles for lunch and that I only had to borrow money from a neighbor to be able to come and also pay debt to someone. We even needed to surpass the storm with my children because I really wanted to see my Lola even if I know that I have nothing to give because I only want to see her on her birthday.

Later on, I found out that there were people who are actually smiling at me and even thanked me for coming talked behind my back and criticized me just because I've got nothing to give.

Knowing myself, I could have given them a call and curse them for judging me without knowing the real situation why I didn't have the envelope to give.


But I chose to keep silent. I chose to keep my cool because I came to a point in my life that I do not care about what people think and say about me anymore. I don't owe anybody an explanation. Anything bad that I say against them also reflects my character as a person. Life has a series of options and decisions and how you react to things is definitely up to you.

I'm not used to cry for help even if I need to. I hate to play underdog even if I already am. I've got such a strong personality that people mistaken as being rude. But what you see is NOT everything I am.

Our annual family reunion is getting near. We are bound to gather together no matter how much complicated relationship we have with each other. We argue, we fight, some people even stopped talking to each other. But what makes us bind together is our common purpose. And that is to make our 85 years old Lola the happiest.

And on that day, I will choose to be grateful for everything that I have, to accept the things that I cannot change and to value the people who made my life worth-living.





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