My eldest son, Ken, is already 7 years old when I got pregnant again with JOAQUI. It was a high risk and difficult pregnancy for me. I experience bleeding on my first trimester up to the eight month before I gave birth. I was always in the hospital due to occasional cramps that I am going through.
My OB-Gynecologist advised me to have a bed rest for a couple of months or until my condition gets really well. My loving husband took care of me while he’s at home before going to work, as well as my mom but she doesn’t live in our house, she just visits me from time to time and relatives who live nearby. They made sure that everything I need is not just a step away, but exactly beside my bed. But of course, I can’t avoid the situation that I had to get up because I have a 7-year old son who’s going to school every morning. Of course I am a mom and I can’t just be lying in bed while my son needs me to button down his school uniform and prepare his cereal in the morning. It’s not a heavy chore for me, anyway.
October 11, 2006 is the most memorable day for all of us. Memorable in such a way that it is the beginning of our hardest struggle in life yet the most fulfilling because never in our wildest dreams that we can get over those trials which are impossible for many to get through.
My OB-Gynecologist advised me to have a bed rest for a couple of months or until my condition gets really well. My loving husband took care of me while he’s at home before going to work, as well as my mom but she doesn’t live in our house, she just visits me from time to time and relatives who live nearby. They made sure that everything I need is not just a step away, but exactly beside my bed. But of course, I can’t avoid the situation that I had to get up because I have a 7-year old son who’s going to school every morning. Of course I am a mom and I can’t just be lying in bed while my son needs me to button down his school uniform and prepare his cereal in the morning. It’s not a heavy chore for me, anyway.
October 11, 2006 is the most memorable day for all of us. Memorable in such a way that it is the beginning of our hardest struggle in life yet the most fulfilling because never in our wildest dreams that we can get over those trials which are impossible for many to get through.
On that day, at exactly 5pm, my husband, my son Ken, and I went to the town proper which is 30 minutes ride away from home. We had merienda at Jollibee then decided to visit my best friend Anna who gave birth to her daughter two months ago. It’s a 5 minute tricycle ride from where we came from. When we step up the house, greeted her and look at her baby for less than a minute, suddenly I felt like my underwear is strangely wet. I looked at it in the bathroom and found out that it is water. Most likely my water bag broke. I was rushed in the nearest hospital.
The doctor found out that my water bag leaked. He advised me to have my ultrasound done and see if there is still enough water in my womb, otherwise, we had no choice but to undergo a cesarean section delivery. I still get back at home because there is no one to do the ultrasound that night and told us to go back tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, when I am lying on my bed at home, I noticed that there is an increase in the volume of water flowing out from my body. In less than an hour, I experienced premature labor. I was rushed from one hospital to another, but unfortunately there is no available incubator that night.
It was really, really tough because in every hospital that they brought me I have to lie down on the bed in the emergency room, have an I.E. done, then suddenly tells me that there is no available incubator so we have to transfer again to a different hospital. It was a total of five hospitals before we finally reached Perpetual Help Hospital at Binan, Laguna.
In the emergency room, while I was lying on the bed, and a couple of nurses interviewing me while I’m on the peak of a painful labor, asking me a lot of questions from what is my name, age and address, my husband’s job, up to the date of my last menstruation and whole lot of questions that I felt like telling the nurse to be on my position that night, in a tough and painful situation then I’ll be asking her so many questions. What are they going to feel? Of course, they are just doing their job but I hate it. They told me that I am giving birth to an eight-month premature baby so we shouldn’t expect any better because it is the most dangerous stage that a mother can get. In fact, more risky than a seven-month premature birth. A doctor came up to me, did something on my tummy, called another doctor, talked to each other with a worried and confused faces. They looked up to me, and told me that my baby has no heart beat already.
I can’t believe what I just heard. It is not sinking in to my system yet. What was me is nothing but pain. Afterwards, I heard a commotion outside the cubicle. It’s a familiar voice and I found out that it was my mother’s. She’s yelling at the officer in charge in the admitting section because it is forcing her to pay the down payment which is obviously against the law. The person is insisting that it is a hospital policy but my mother stood up to what she believes is right. She told the officer in charge that we have no money that night and it is definitely against the law for a hospital to collect a down payment before admitting any patient. My mom warned them that she’ll going to file a case if something happened to me due to the delay of the process because they keep on forcing us to pay the required amount.
The people in the hospital got bothered because my mom is already angry and keeps on yelling at them. The officer then decided to bring out a promissory note stating that we have to pay the required amount first thing in the morning. I shouted for pain because I felt that my baby is already coming out in less than a minute. My mom looked at me; saw me in a very difficult situation that made her sign the document that fast.
The doctor found out that my water bag leaked. He advised me to have my ultrasound done and see if there is still enough water in my womb, otherwise, we had no choice but to undergo a cesarean section delivery. I still get back at home because there is no one to do the ultrasound that night and told us to go back tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, when I am lying on my bed at home, I noticed that there is an increase in the volume of water flowing out from my body. In less than an hour, I experienced premature labor. I was rushed from one hospital to another, but unfortunately there is no available incubator that night.
It was really, really tough because in every hospital that they brought me I have to lie down on the bed in the emergency room, have an I.E. done, then suddenly tells me that there is no available incubator so we have to transfer again to a different hospital. It was a total of five hospitals before we finally reached Perpetual Help Hospital at Binan, Laguna.
In the emergency room, while I was lying on the bed, and a couple of nurses interviewing me while I’m on the peak of a painful labor, asking me a lot of questions from what is my name, age and address, my husband’s job, up to the date of my last menstruation and whole lot of questions that I felt like telling the nurse to be on my position that night, in a tough and painful situation then I’ll be asking her so many questions. What are they going to feel? Of course, they are just doing their job but I hate it. They told me that I am giving birth to an eight-month premature baby so we shouldn’t expect any better because it is the most dangerous stage that a mother can get. In fact, more risky than a seven-month premature birth. A doctor came up to me, did something on my tummy, called another doctor, talked to each other with a worried and confused faces. They looked up to me, and told me that my baby has no heart beat already.
I can’t believe what I just heard. It is not sinking in to my system yet. What was me is nothing but pain. Afterwards, I heard a commotion outside the cubicle. It’s a familiar voice and I found out that it was my mother’s. She’s yelling at the officer in charge in the admitting section because it is forcing her to pay the down payment which is obviously against the law. The person is insisting that it is a hospital policy but my mother stood up to what she believes is right. She told the officer in charge that we have no money that night and it is definitely against the law for a hospital to collect a down payment before admitting any patient. My mom warned them that she’ll going to file a case if something happened to me due to the delay of the process because they keep on forcing us to pay the required amount.
The people in the hospital got bothered because my mom is already angry and keeps on yelling at them. The officer then decided to bring out a promissory note stating that we have to pay the required amount first thing in the morning. I shouted for pain because I felt that my baby is already coming out in less than a minute. My mom looked at me; saw me in a very difficult situation that made her sign the document that fast.
While on our way to the delivery room which is still on the second floor, I felt like my baby is already in the cervix that’s really eager to come out that night. It seems like the doctor saw the head of my baby, so without the surgical gloves yet, she put her hand on my cervix trying to stop my baby from coming out because we are not yet in the delivery room and the incubator is not ready yet. What pissed me off that night is she’s shouting at me telling me to control my baby from coming out because everything is not yet ready and she’s angry because she has no surgical gloves yet. I shouted back at her and told her that it is naturally coming out beyond my control!
Finally, in the delivery room, I saw seven to eight persons assisting the doctor. They put oxygen mask on me, dextrose, and then told me to take a deep breath. JOAQUI came out in no time.
I was so weak and exhausted when I heard the nurses telling me that it’s a boy. They are all saying that it’s a tiny baby boy so they gave him a pet name “TINY”. That was the last word I heard before I close my eyes and slept.
When I opened my eyes after long hours of sleep, I was already in the recovery room. I haven’t seen my baby because they told me that he was in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) in the incubator. I saw him before I get discharged after two days. My husband accompanied me in the NICU telling me to be strong. When I opened the second door where the incubators are located, I saw a few babies lying inside the incubators. What caught my attention is the baby in the corner. It is the smallest among the babies in the room. It has a very dark complexion which I think is not a normal color of a human being. It is so thin that the ribs became so visible in the eye.
My husband keep walking and walking. I was behind him, following his direction while in crossed-fingers and praying that I hope he’s not heading down to the direction of the devastating baby that I’m looking at. But I failed. He stopped at that baby, looked at me worriedly, and told me that “He is our baby.” My knees began to shake. Unbelievably looked at the name tag below the incubator and read my baby’s name on it.
I felt like the world dropped on me. I really can’t believe that what I’m looking right then is the baby that I took care in my womb for eight difficult months. I’m asking myself what I have done wrong. The people around me took excellent care of me, especially my husband. He made sure that I’m getting enough nutrition that I and our baby need. I took all the vitamins that my doctor gave me. During those months, I prayed a lot for my safe delivery and for the good health of my baby. Then, what happened? Why? Those are the questions that I’m asking myself while looking at the baby. He has the worst condition from all the babies in the room. There are so many wires and cables from machines that are connected to him. I cried.
Finally, in the delivery room, I saw seven to eight persons assisting the doctor. They put oxygen mask on me, dextrose, and then told me to take a deep breath. JOAQUI came out in no time.
I was so weak and exhausted when I heard the nurses telling me that it’s a boy. They are all saying that it’s a tiny baby boy so they gave him a pet name “TINY”. That was the last word I heard before I close my eyes and slept.
When I opened my eyes after long hours of sleep, I was already in the recovery room. I haven’t seen my baby because they told me that he was in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) in the incubator. I saw him before I get discharged after two days. My husband accompanied me in the NICU telling me to be strong. When I opened the second door where the incubators are located, I saw a few babies lying inside the incubators. What caught my attention is the baby in the corner. It is the smallest among the babies in the room. It has a very dark complexion which I think is not a normal color of a human being. It is so thin that the ribs became so visible in the eye.
My husband keep walking and walking. I was behind him, following his direction while in crossed-fingers and praying that I hope he’s not heading down to the direction of the devastating baby that I’m looking at. But I failed. He stopped at that baby, looked at me worriedly, and told me that “He is our baby.” My knees began to shake. Unbelievably looked at the name tag below the incubator and read my baby’s name on it.
I felt like the world dropped on me. I really can’t believe that what I’m looking right then is the baby that I took care in my womb for eight difficult months. I’m asking myself what I have done wrong. The people around me took excellent care of me, especially my husband. He made sure that I’m getting enough nutrition that I and our baby need. I took all the vitamins that my doctor gave me. During those months, I prayed a lot for my safe delivery and for the good health of my baby. Then, what happened? Why? Those are the questions that I’m asking myself while looking at the baby. He has the worst condition from all the babies in the room. There are so many wires and cables from machines that are connected to him. I cried.
After a month, Joaqui is already discharged. He is unusually small that he caught everyone’s attention. Everybody wants to look at him but nobody wants to carry or to touch him. They are all scared that they might break a single bone of my small baby. He’s only 1.8 kl. He is too thin, too small that fits in to a box of shoes. I took care of him, myself. No nanny, no relatives beside me, but just me. I give him a bath, I feed him, and I change his clothes and diapers, all by myself. He cries a lot and when he’s crying he’s turning blue. He can’t breath, his lips are getting dark. He’s always in the hospital because he has grade-sixth asthma. According to his Pediatric Pulmonologist, it is the worst stage of asthma. His lungs are under developed. We should just hope that it will eventually get better as he grow up.
After a few months of getting in and out of the hospital because of asthma, the doctor noticed another problem on his development. We also notice the same thing. His development is late and slow compared to his age. We consulted a Developmental Pediatrician and we found out that one of the complications of his being premature affected his development. He has a condition that is called Global Developmental Delay Syndrome. It is a condition where the child has a slow development in all aspects of motor skills and speech. We also found out that he is hearing impaired. According to the tests, his right ear has a severe hearing loss and a moderate hearing loss in his left ear. We’ve been through a lot before we can provide hearing aids for his both ears and it is not easy. Luckily, and with God’s grace, we did.
I admit, at first it is so hard to accept. We have neighbors who don’t want to get pregnant so they tried to abort their babies. They have tried everything from those bitter root crops, to prohibited drugs, and finally, the so called “hilot”. They did everything just get their babies out from their life. But unbelievably, their babies survived until they are born. What makes me puzzled is their babies are all healthy and normal. Then, I keep on asking myself, why me? We did everything for my baby to be healthy enough because we love him. I’m always talking to God, asking Him, why me? Why us? Then eventually God gave me an answer. I found the answers to my questions when He helped us to get through whatever it is that we gone through. Then I told myself, He gave us Joaqui because He trusted our capability that we can do everything to make him live a better life.
Joaqui is now four years old. He is going to a series of Occupational Therapy that would help him to do things that a normal kid can do. It is only a once a week session so the therapists told us that more of the responsibility lies in our hands, his parents, especially me, his mom.
I am a full time mom so I devoted myself in taking care of my kids especially Joaqui. I took a lot of effort to teach him at home, exerted a lot of patience when I’m getting tired in dealing with his tantrums.
Joaqui is now four years old. He is going to a series of Occupational Therapy that would help him to do things that a normal kid can do. It is only a once a week session so the therapists told us that more of the responsibility lies in our hands, his parents, especially me, his mom.
I am a full time mom so I devoted myself in taking care of my kids especially Joaqui. I took a lot of effort to teach him at home, exerted a lot of patience when I’m getting tired in dealing with his tantrums.
I admit, it is not easy to have a son with special needs. I’m just telling myself that God gave me a mission. Joaqui is my mission in life. He is a special child, who needs special love and special attention that only a family can give.
Now, he excels among the kids his peers. He knows how to write his full name legibly. He memorized the alphabet; know how to write it all in small and big caps. He knows how to draw, recognizes things and now learning to talk.
I promised myself that I will do everything to make his life much better than he could. I just keep on praying that may God grant us all the strength that we need and surround us with people with generous hearts to be able to help us to make my precious baby’s life as normal as he can get.
Comments